MY STORY
I was never a religious person. In the Soviet Union, I wasn’t instilled with an interest in religion. And love for spirituality was practically forbidden, or rather, it was not accepted to be a spiritual person. At that time, everyone experienced a lack of everyday comforts. But there was a happy moment — the lack of everyday aspects was successfully compensated by the courtyard and communication with neighborhood kids, and later with classmates. Yes, society didn’t give me knowledge about spirituality, but I’m grateful that it instilled in me a love for animals. And I’m grateful to society for the formation of conscience. It seems to me that from childhood I understood what was right or wrong. And the combination of kindness and conscience is already a kind of spirituality.
In 1992, I began to receive my first knowledge in the field of philosophy. At that time, in the final work, our entire class was supposed to prove that God doesn’t exist. But not a single person coped with the task. Questions arose: why is the Earth shaped like a drop, what does an ant know, is a microbe conscious. The questions remained unanswered, and life went on its course amid concerns about choosing a profession, family, and children. And it was necessary to develop in this direction.
I did many things in life unconsciously: studying out of necessity and in anticipation of higher income prospects. I chose a woman the same way: I have a conscience, I’m kind, and she loved me. So, I took pity on her.
I always did what was best for others, but it wasn’t at all due to consciousness. There was no spirituality in my choices at all. That’s why it turned out that my own choice seemed to be imposed from the outside and was never my own.
So, I drifted through life with closed eyes. I made decisions in the dark, gained experience.
What else is needed: there’s a family, children; we live in the best place on the Planet. The children are well provided for, a career has been made. Yes, there are problems in the relationship with my spouse, I don’t take care of my body. But one day, the lost interest in life began to manifest as stress. That’s how I found myself trapped by depression. This became the starting point on the path of finding myself.
I began to ask myself questions:
Why do I want to sleep again every morning when I open my eyes?
Why lethargy?
Why don’t I want anything in life?
Why are sufferings necessary?
It turns out that I needed to live to 45 years old, sink below rock bottom just to want to find the truth. I searched for it everywhere. Information came in a stream: books, videos.
I engaged in physical development: went to the gym, lost excess weight, began to allow myself tasty food and beautiful clothes. An interest appeared in building proper relationships with loved ones, new relationships with women and a desire to give more to children.
Almost in one period, several events occurred at once: I left my family; my father passed away; my previously well-gaining career momentum declined, and then I even lost my job completely.
Fortunately, at that very moment, I found a new relationship with a woman with whom I now want to create a family.
I realize that the rapid development of subsequent events is precisely related to the search for myself. I didn’t associate this with spirituality or philosophy. I needed to understand who Gennady is.
Questions were becoming more and more:
Why am I here?
What is my calling?
What are my talents?
What are my blocks and fears?
Why do I make certain decisions in certain situations?
That’s how sources of information began to open up. There was a need for knowledge, which I received from Joe Dispenza, Alexander Palienko, Napoleon Hill, and other popular authors and bloggers. Most of the information came through YouTube. Every free minute from work and household duties, I consumed information. Thanks to Alexander Palienko, I learned to be grateful, which significantly reduced the level of life stress. He has such a practice where you thank absolutely everything: for every breath of air, for the sky being blue, for everything, including lessons in the form of troubles. Immersing myself in the practice, I began to feel like both a man and a woman, and at the same time whole. That’s how I managed to switch my mood from problems and negativity to positivity.
The path to consciousness didn’t actually happen at the snap of fingers. It was long and thorny. And it continues to this day.
Each person has their own individual path in finding themselves. Interest is important here. And this is the most powerful realization. Any interest is already a path. And it definitely leads a person to themselves. Of course, you can go to yourself through struggle. This road will also lead to the goal. Only it will be much longer than going through interest.
It became possible to feel the flow of energy. And when we are in such an emotional tone, many ideas open up to us. It was in this state in 2019 that I found myself on a business trip to Brazil. There I met a woman whom I had created in my imagination. I was charmed. She didn’t need to be saved. She didn’t need to be pitied. And I allowed myself to have this woman in my life. There were a thousand reasons why this meeting should not have taken place. But I turned off logic and closed my mind. That’s why such a woman appeared in my life. I opened my heart, which became the launching pad for all subsequent events.
Everyone who remembers the youthful state of being in love will confirm how in this period a continuous flow of energy is felt and what role emotional tone with butterflies in the stomach plays in solving any other life tasks.
Subsequent events developed very rapidly. I fully realized my life. Now there were no doubts — until now I had not been myself, I had always adapted.
When this opened up to me, I climbed out of this box, or like an actor took off the mask, and opened my soul to another person. This was the most powerful decision at that moment. After all, we know many examples when in response to such an action you can hear “I don’t need this”. Then a person closes up — it hurts them. In our case, it was a vibrational match. Elisa, that’s my woman’s name, turned out to be a conscious person too. She doesn’t speak English; I don’t know Portuguese. But we mutually opened up to each other. We started communicating. And it turned out that in our manifestations we were creating each other. This happened almost simultaneously: after divorcing my wife, I was sitting in my apartment in San Francisco and thinking about what kind of woman I would like to meet in a Brazilian bar, and she in Brazil was creating the image of a man like me. Moreover, as it turned out, Elisa had been dreaming of a man like me since childhood.
